SUP Marketing Tribe Meeting Notes: Opt-In Edition

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What follows is 1000% the opinion of Morgan from Gift Pinpoint. Anything that is controversial, offensive, or inappropriate, is his opinion alone. He does not represent nor speak for anyone from SUP, nor anyone from SUP generation 7.2, nor anyone else that works at Gift Pinpoint; he only speaks for himself!

The SUP Marketing Tribe returned for yet another sober, focused session on…

First, lets say what our meeting was NOT about. Most people who talk about “online marketing” are full of poppycock: talking about “social media” and “getting Twitter followers” and all that associated nonsense.

But under Morgan’s reign of the Marketing Tribe, we’ll have none of that. We go straight for the hard stuff that actually works. (All while drinking lots and lots of sober drinks like chocolate milk and eating cookies!). We will focus on the down and dirty details of acquiring hundreds of thousands of paying clients. If it’s not practically helpful to directly and measurably achieve this goal–we’ll have none of it!

Last Thursday’s intimate session (featuring members of Azonia, Shutter, TuQuejaSuma, TechUrself, Wanna Migrate, SportID, Art Circle, Renooble, Medikal, Clickmedix, Gift Pinpoint, among others) covered a few aspects of the real — ahem, ahem, no-social-media-BS, ahem, ahem — online marketing, including:

1.) Comparing different tools we use to send out mass double-opt-in emails (no, never spam) — which tools are the best, which result in the best results, which are most likely to get put into Gmail’s Primary tab (damn you, Google 3-tab redesign! Now, getting marked as not-spam isn’t enough: we need to get marked to be in the primary inbox, too!). Clarification: we would never, ever, ever send out spam. We strongly oppose it. We all clarified and agreed in the meeting that we only ever send out double-opt-in emails. When we send out emails to the 1,000,000+ emails on our list, every single recipient wants that email and signed up for it, often they’re just our best-friends!! Our most effective tools don’t only get into the non-spam, primary inbox — but they also let us track and A/B test every little detail. Which tools did we find are the most effective? Well, if you weren’t there, you’re not going to find out! Unless you come to the next meeting.

2.) Since we all aggressively A/B test the content of our double-opt-in emails (we don’t send out spam), we compared lots of stories and details as to which email (non-spam) text and subject lines worked the best and which ones didn’t. We realized some interesting cross-cultural differences, as well: some of the headlines which we found worked targeting Americans, we found less likely to work with Estonians — and God-only-knows what would ever work with the Argentinians. Want to know some of the examples that we found worked and didn’t work, do you? Oh, you should have been at our meeting!

3.) We conducted a deep analysis of which industries are employing the most advanced methods in online advertising — for, we reasoned, any industry that is using the most advanced advertising techniques, we must study what they’re doing in that industry! The conclusion was that the historical leader in innovative marketing has been the exotic entertainment industry. Did you know that the first VHS tapes made were in this industry, for example? And the first DVDs, too! Therefore, anyone who wants to research directly the latest online marketing techniques, to go study the websites in these spaces that have the most online marketing innovation. The rest, we can leave up to your imagination!

For your viewing pleasure, here are a few photos from our meeting. Note from our lawyers: all cups in the photos are filled with water or milk!

Sound interesting? Come to our next meeting!

But if you think sales and marketing and getting 100,000 paying clients is all about posting to Facebook and Twitter? Then please, do NOT come. This tribe isn’t for you. Please go spend the evening reloading your Facebook timeline, okay?

Oh, and a very private message to 8.1: I (Morgan; and my views represent no one else other than me, myself and I) want to give a special shout-out goes to Teams TechUrself and TuQuejaSuma. After my many blog posts (and even a speech to 8.1!) encouraging 8.1 to start figuring out how to get people buying your product, encouraging them to think about everything from a marketing and sales point of view — before you even waste all your time and money building something no one wants — and TechUrself and TuQuejaSuma were the only ones (in 8.1) with enough audacity (audax!), with enough passion and drive, with enough obsession and focus on figuring out how to get paying clients, to come show up to the meeting to represent generation 8.1. As Woody Allen said: 95% of success is just showing up–and they’re the only ones (from 8.1) who showed up. Go TechUrself and TuQuejaSuma!!!

photo 3

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Morgan would like to thank everyone on Team Gift Pinpoint and Legal Fácil. You’re awesome!